What with these feet?

It's been an eventful year to say the least. For a guy from Kidderminster I have been incredibly lucky at times and have done things I would never have believed possible. It started with sending off two episodes of a script I helped write with two other guys to six production companies/producers. Amazingly we had replies from three- all very positive, but none that wanted to pursue it further, but they were interested in any other ideas we might have. One of the companies even invited us down to London for a chat. (Thanks Maria!) That was an incredibly surreal, but amazing experience. Sadly, due to one thing and another, that part has stalled somewhat. But, away from writing with the team I have continued to work on my own things. I've had a bash at topical comedy writing, even though it isn't really my field of expertise, however I'm happy that I have definitely improved on this the more I have written. So much so that I made the Newsjack script twice, but sadly not t

He used to fear a blank page. The bright white of the screen filling the entire room with light, but he felt as if he was in complete darkness, his brain no longer capable of functioning as it should. When he was off doing something else it felt as if ideas were constantly trying to force their way out into the world, desperate to be heard, but now he was in front of his computer it appeared those thoughts had retreated to an inaccessible part of his mind. Locked away by the inescapable fear that they weren’t worthy of being viewed. By anyone. Including himself. He sat and stared desperately waiting for inspiration to strike. Minutes passed by, but it felt like hours. He’d read countless books and heard many writers all giving the same advice: “Just write. Write anything, but just write.” It seemed liked a monumental waste of time. Why waste precious brain space on nothing. Surely it would be better to wait for the right words, than just anything. But of course, they were right. He wro

For a few weeks I have been submitting one-liners to BBC Scotland's "Breaking the News" a weekly topical radio/TV show. This show has given me the honour of my first radio credit! Which was brilliant, especially as I knew nothing about it until I was listening to the radio show and heard Des Clarke read my bit out, and what a buzz that was I can tell you! Anyway, I'm really pleased with what I have been submitting, and although I've only got the one on to the show so far, I thought I'd share what didn't make the cut with you, my avid reader. Enjoy! Breaking the News Series 14 Episode 6. (Broadcast 22/11/19)   David Tennant has been crowned the UK’s hardest working actor in a study of 100 TV and film stars. I mean, it should come as no surprise that someone that works all the hours under the sun is a Tenant. You’ve no other choice these days in order to afford a deposit on your own house. A man has been arrested after police shut down a rave invo

Greasy Dave lived up to his name... Now you may be forgiven for thinking that he was probably a mechanic, or he worked in a café or a fish and chip shop or some such; but it was actually a far more palatable reason- he was a huge fan of the film Grease. In fact, he claimed to have watched it over 500 times. Now this was a claim that was never seriously challenged; and why should it be. Why would you make something like that up? What possible advantage could you hope to get from such a claim? Unless of course you were angling to meet John Travolta or Olivia Newton John, then, maybe, just maybe, the claim may hold some sway. But, for an office worker in a small rural town, watching Grease on average once every 3 weeks was eccentric at the very worst. Not that a little eccentricity is in anyway a bad thing. And especially in Dave’s case. It was fine. Yes, of course he was ‘a little different’ than most, but he was generally considered to be a nice guy. And okay, so he may

Despite never having managed to get anything either broadcast, or into the script of BBC's Newsjack, I keep trying, as you never know, one day I might stumble upon the magic formula! In the meantime, please see what I have submitted to the current season (September/October 2019). Week One - Show Broadcast on 12/09/19 GOOD WEEK / BAD WEEK It’s been a bad week for Jacob Rees-Mogg, as he was universally condemned for displaying 'contemptuous' body language to MPs as he lay sprawled across the government front bench It’s been a good week for, Photoshoppers and meme makers -- It’s been a good week for a 73-year-old woman in southern India who has given birth to healthy twin girls. It’s been a bad week for Donald Trump as searching ’73-year-old baby’ means he now gets less hits on Google. Week Two - Show Broadcast on 19/09/19 BREAKING NEWS A museum in Amsterdam has dropped the term ‘Golden Age’ when describing the Netherlands in the 17th century. The term was said to be linked w

The scream went on for an alarming amount of time. Thank God it was only in his head. He stared blankly at the screens, words and images bobbing in and out of focus. He vaguely thought he heard someone say his name, but he continued looking lifelessly at the monitors in front of him. Man, he was desperate to be away from here. He wasn’t sure how much longer he could go on. It had been fine at first, sure. A bit slow at times, but manageable. But now he’d finally figured out what he wanted to do with his life, so this was an unwelcome distraction - but with bills to pay and food to put on the table, a necessary one. Okay, this time he definitely heard his name. He snapped out of the trance-like state he had been in and looked up. A female colleague was stood about 10 yards away with a curious look on her face. He managed to muster a faint smile and made a half-hearted apology about being miles away. The colleague seemed fine with this, not that he probably would have cared i