Skip to main content

500 Words - Greasy Dave lived up to his name...


Greasy Dave lived up to his name...

Now you may be forgiven for thinking that he was probably a mechanic, or he worked in a café or a fish and chip shop or some such; but it was actually a far more palatable reason- he was a huge fan of the film Grease. In fact, he claimed to have watched it over 500 times.

Now this was a claim that was never seriously challenged; and why should it be. Why would you make something like that up? What possible advantage could you hope to get from such a claim? Unless of course you were angling to meet John Travolta or Olivia Newton John, then, maybe, just maybe, the claim may hold some sway. But, for an office worker in a small rural town, watching Grease on average once every 3 weeks was eccentric at the very worst.

Not that a little eccentricity is in anyway a bad thing. And especially in Dave’s case. It was fine. Yes, of course he was ‘a little different’ than most, but he was generally considered to be a nice guy. And okay, so he may break into an a capella rendition of “Summer Nights” at any point during the working day, but this was appreciated by his colleagues more than you might imagine.

You see, since the events of the previous year, anything to lighten the mood was always welcome. Even the (sometimes off-key) singing of “hopelessly devoted to you” by a 35-year old Accounts Clerk did just enough to take everyone’s minds of that fateful day in June.

Like a lot of June days now it seems, the weather had been nothing short of atrocious. It had rained heavily pretty much non-stop for 12 hours and the roads were treacherous in places. Nevertheless, the deliveries still had to be made. And the sad fact of the matter is, the journey never ended where, or how, it was supposed to.

Trevor had worked at the company for over 30 years, he was a cheerful sort and always had a joke to share. Carefully ensuring none of the ladies of the office were in earshot if ever the joke was slightly “blue,” or contained any “salty” language. He was always adamant about that. Like his father before him, he treated a lady like a lady, and couldn’t bare anyone who showed anything but the utmost respect to the “fairer sex.”

So, in spite of the weather, Trevor’s van was loaded up and off he went. He knew the route well, having driven it countless times before, but that day would be the last.

The police report had stated that Trevor was driving according to the conditions of the road, sensibly curtailing his speed and keeping a safe distance from the vehicles in front. Unfortunately for Trevor, the recently passed 18-year-old was not quite as adept or proficient.     

So, whenever the girls of the office looked a bit down, Greasy Dave lived up to his name…

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

That was the week(end) that was (TW(e)3)

I can’t remember exactly when it was I booked up to Craft of Comedy (CofC), and if I’m honest this post is so inconsequential there’s no point in going back through old emails for ‘facts’. However, I can remember how I felt a few moments after I had added the three requested letters from my 3D secure password to the final payment screen - R B P for those that are interested, I’ll remember to include my mother’s maiden name in a future paragraph - I felt incredibly excited that I had finally taken a bold step towards something I had been ‘banging on about' for such a long time. Of course, about two minutes later I also felt incredibly nervous thinking about the fact I was going to have to go somewhere quite far away, with a lot of people, none of whom I knew, who might ask me the dreaded question: “what are you writing?” to which I didn’t really have a very good answer… In all honesty, I also wasn't exactly sure what I had actually signed up for given that the only informat
2 comments
Read more

Woodbury Scene

I stumbled across a document I submitted a fair few years ago to BBC Radio 4's 'Small Scenes' programme. I remember when I wrote it how I imagined it would sound, and having read it again, I could still hear it clearly in my mind. So, I thought I'd see if I could turn that into reality! I've never done this before, so I'm really pleased with how well it has actually tuned out. Apart from the dodgy acting of course! There are probably a few issues with some parts of the sound, mostly the voices as I recorded them on a microphone in my front room, bu overall I think it sounds okay for my first real effort at this kind of thing. Anyway, enough blather, enjoy! I used Audacity to record the audio (https://www.audacityteam.org/), and to edit it all together. I also used a couple of effects from the BBC's Sound Effects website: http://bbcsfx.acropolis.org.uk/
1 comment
Read more

Phone Scam Sketch

This is a sketch I submitted to Newsjack S24 E4. Apologies as always if the formatting is odd as it is pasted straight from word. Phone scammers asked for £1000 to stop calling Trading Standards has announced that nuisance and scam calls have been on the rise during lockdown - with some people reportedly being stung for thousands of pounds. I had someone call me recently saying my Just Eat account had been hacked as someone had used it every night for a week, I had to explain I just couldn’t be bothered to cook. With so many people being caught out by scammers, could it give others ideas on how they could make some extra money…              FX:                          MEETING ROOM EFFECTS PERSON 1:              OK, as you know Rishi announced some very costly new measures in the budget and we’ve been tasked with coming up with new ways in which we can bring extra money into the Treasury. I hope that you’ve had time to work with your teams to really think outside the box. So,
Post a Comment
Read more