BBC
Radio Scotland's Breaking the news started its latest 10-week run on 25th June 2021. Please see my submissions below. Hopefully some of
these will have green text at some point to indicate they made it on
air! 🤞
Jump to:
Episode 1
Episode 2
Episode 3
Episode 4
Episode 5
Episode 6
Episode 7
Episode 8
Episode 9
Episode 10
Episode 1 - 25/06/21
Really liked a couple of these, and they also did nicely on Twitter, but not to the taste of the show makers this week, sadly.
Openers & closers
Disney’s live action remake of The Little Mermaid has been hit by a Covid outbreak. However, in order not to delay the film’s release, it will be incorporated into the script. So, songs in the film will now include Don’t Kiss the Girl, More Unfortunate Souls and Under the C-19.
A parrot in Hartlepool was reported to the police for squawking a string of swearwords at a neighbour. The Parrot now faces being charged with a pieces of hate crime.
A new bid is being considered to achieve city status for Dumfries - 10 years after a previous attempt was ruled to be invalid. Dumfries’ popularity has soared in recent weeks following the announcement the town’s 139-year-old fountain is to be restored and scoring 2 goals in 3 matches at Euro 2020.
Nike has a new range of trainers made from pineapple leather in a bid to appeal to vegan customers. If successful, they will extend the range to football boots to allow the wearers to run rings around their opponents.
Episode 2 - 02/07/21
Openers & closers
Coronation street is to air its first real kiss since the pandemic ruled out any close contact. The kiss will take place between two new characters that are being introduced to the street. Matt Hancock was delighted to have found a new job so quickly.
East German secret police were poised to arrest Roger Moore when he was filming Octopussy in Berlin in 1982, documents have revealed. When the actor was told of his evasion of a prison sentence, he was shaken, but not stirred.
The Queen and Prince William visited the Irn-Bru headquarters in Cumbernauld. Known for a bright orange colour and unique taste, Prince Harry will join brother William at a statue unveiling in honour of their mother.
Episode 3 - 09/07/21
Again, these were well received on Twitter but didn't tickle the fancy of those that matter the most.
Openers & closers
British strawberries could be on Supermarket shelves nine months of the year thanks to ‘vertical’ growing. The pioneering system yields five times as much fruit than normal production methods. Plans are now in place to try and grow the popular fruit all year round, so soon we might have strawberry yields forever.
A small drawing of a bear's head by Leonardo da Vinci is expected to sell for up to £12m ($16.7m) at a London auction on Thursday. This is anticipated to be the most ever paid for one of his ursa minor works.
Episode 4 - 16/07/21
A lovely thing happened this week, I got a joke on for the first time in a while! 🥰 The opening that was written by the script editors was far better than mine, but the punchline remained in tact. I won't lie, you can't beat hearing people laugh at something you wrote! 😍
Openers & closers
An Edinburgh mum was left in stitches after a stranger bought her wedding video in a charity shop and she didn’t even realise it had been lost. The mix-up came to light when the purchaser returned the video to the store, complaining they’d been short-changed and were owed three more weddings and a funeral.
A search has been launched for the owner of a male ferret found walking about Bonnybridge earlier this week. The animal was discovered by a passer-by in Broomhill Road in the town on Monday. Known for their natural diet of whole small prey, including meat, organs, bones, skin, feathers, and fur, Bonnybridge is a village near Falkirk.
Episode 5 - 23/07/21
The second one may have worked well for a Two Ronnies style show, but probably not for BTN if I am being honest. I liked it though!
Openers & closers
Broadcaster and writer Sue Perkins is the next host of Radio 4's long-running quiz show Just a Minute. A spokesperson for the show said that the decision was an easy one and was made without hesitation, repetition or deviation.
A Glasgow woman has reported multiple sightings of a puma in her local park. She also claimed to have seen a crocodile, a penguin and a jaguar. Police are on the lookout for a well-dressed youth reading a book in a nice car.
Episode 6 - 30/07/21
I liked the first one the most, but submitted both on the off chance.
Openers & closers
Sarah Ferguson approached The Crown bosses to offer some insider knowledge, but she was snubbed. Sarah claims she wrote to The Crown’s executive producer Andy Harries offering her services, however, her offer was declined as it was decided it wouldn’t be in keeping with the rest of the series to introduce a talking helicopter.
Sarah Ferguson approached The Crown bosses to offer some insider knowledge, but she was snubbed. Sarah claims she wrote to The Crown’s executive producer Andy Harries offering her services, however, her offer was declined as it was proving too difficult to cast a small blue helicopter with a big yellow cap.
Episode 7 - 06/08/21
Didn't manage to submit anything this week, sadly. A combination of an insanely stressful work week and other factors meant I didn't really give myself much time to read through the brief, and for the 20 minutes or so I did, I wasn't in a comedy writing state of mind. Hopefully we will be back at it next week! 👊
Episode 8 - 13/08/21
Really liked the Champagne one, but it only works if Banff is said to rhyme with France. Also, regular listeners may recognise the Karaoke joke as one I have used before. I wasn't sure about sending it, but did just in case! 😉
Openers & closers
BBC Breakfast’s Dan Walker has joined this year’s Strictly line up. Fellow BBC Sport presenter and former Strictly contestant herself, Alex Scott, said she was delighted for her colleague and wished him all the best with his dancin’.
The Prime Minister has come under fire after it emerged nearly £100,000 was spent on two works of art to be displayed in Downing Street. Mr Johnson has defended the purchases however, claiming that the works show an incredible insight into days gone by with the artist really capturing the essence of dogs playing poker.
Champagne producers are concerned about this year’s yield as bad weather has wiped out a third of its vines. Although Scots have argued you can only really call it bad weather if it comes from the sparkling region of Banff.
China will establish a blacklist of karaoke songs to ban those containing “illegal content” from karaoke venues across the country starting from 1 October, according to the Ministry of Culture and Tourism. When asked how they felt about the new measures, one customer responded, “well, at first I was afraid, I was petrified.”
Wearing of face masks on trains will not be enforced by Scotrail, the train operator has confirmed. Scotrail Operations director David Simpson said the firm did not want to put staff in "difficult positions”. Passengers have said they too are often put in difficult positions, especially on the busier services.
Round 2: Public Opinion - Story 2: Bothies Reopening Across Scotland
The Bothy Code:
Respect the Bothy
Respect Other Users
Respect the Surroundings
Respect Agreement with the Estate
Respect the Restriction on Numbers, particularly number twos.
Episode 9 - 20/08/21
Openers & closers
A Hibs fan was caught on camera watching pornography while in the stand for their League Cup clash with Kilmarnock at the weekend. Referee Bobby Madden was pleased on learning of the incident, as he assumed he had been the target of the fans’ offensive chanting, as he too was wearing black.
Episode 10 - 27/04/21
Openers & closers
Scientists who systematically eavesdropped on bat roosts in Costa Rica have discovered baby-bat babbling bears a striking resemblance to that of human infants. Although questions have been raised as to the authenticity of the findings as there are concerns the sounds of goo goo, ga ga heard on their radios, may have actually been someone listening to Queen.
Foreign Secretary Dominic Raab has defended being on holiday as the Taliban was advancing on Kabul, saying "with hindsight" he would not have gone away at all. “I had no intention of holidaying with you in the first place,” said a disgruntled Keir Starmer.
A racing pigeon bound for Dumfries went off course and walked into a pub in England, 158 Miles from Home. The Barman thought it was some kind of joke and asked the pigeon, why the wrong place?
Round 2 Public Opinion – Story 1: Lies
Amazon UK’S editorial programmes manager Darren Hardy said: “It’s clear we use our imaginations every day to tell tales to those around us.” Presumably things like yes, of course you are allowed regular toilet breaks.
Comments
Post a Comment