What with these feet?

BBC Radio Scotland's Breaking the news started its latest 10-week run on 15th October 2021. Please see my submissions below. Hopefully some of these will have green text at some point to indicate they made it on air! 🤞 Jump to: Episode 1 Episode 2 Episode 3 Episode 4 COP26 Special Episode 6 Episode 7 Episode 8 Episode 9 Episode 10 Xmas Special Episode 1 - 15/10/21 Today was the 200th show. Congratulations to all involved! Openers & closers This is our 200th show. A lot has happened since our first broadcast on 5th June 2015. Back then Brexit didn’t mean Brexit; Corona was just a beer and Furlough was something we only said when describing clouds. A vegan food blogger from the Netherlands has won the World Porridge Making Championships. Miriam Groot, 25, who runs a blog called The Veggie Reporter, beat competitors from around the world. She submitted three entries to the competition and the third one was judged just right. Wildlife

One of my favourite comedies of all time is BBC Radio 4's I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue. It is one of the most consistent programmes of any format, and it manages to elicit at least a couple of proper belly laughs from me every episode. Some of the stuff they have 'gotten away with' over the years - particularly anything relating to the mime-master general himself, Lionel Blair, is incredible and testament to the fantastic writers the show has had. The loss of Iain Pattinson earlier this year was a huge blow, as he was an outstanding writer and he will be sorely missed.  I thought it was high-time I shared some of my own, 'Clue-style' efforts, enjoy! Uxbridge English Dictionary definitions Abortion – Avoid Swedish Pop Group Abundant – Damage to sweet roll Accent – Hatchet smell Accident – Hatchet-like mark on car Accidentally – Counting up the number of hatchet-like marks on a car Accommodating – Courting a punctuation mark Accountability – Dracula-li

BBC Radio Scotland's Breaking the news started its latest 10-week run on 25th June 2021. Please see my submissions below. Hopefully some of these will have green text at some point to indicate they made it on air! 🤞 Jump to: Episode 1 Episode 2 Episode 3 Episode 4 Episode 5 Episode 6 Episode 7 Episode 8 Episode 9 Episode 10 Episode 1 - 25/06/21 Really liked a couple of these, and they also did nicely on Twitter, but not to the taste of the show makers this week, sadly. Openers & closers Disney’s live action remake of The Little Mermaid has been hit by a Covid outbreak. However, in order not to delay the film’s release, it will be incorporated into the script. So, songs in the film will now include Don’t Kiss the Girl, More Unfortunate Souls and Under the C-19.    A parrot in Hartlepool was reported to the police for squawking a string of swearwords at a neighbour. The Parrot now faces being charged with a pieces of hate crime. A new bid i

This is a sketch I submitted to Newsjack S24 E4. Apologies as always if the formatting is odd as it is pasted straight from word. Phone scammers asked for £1000 to stop calling Trading Standards has announced that nuisance and scam calls have been on the rise during lockdown - with some people reportedly being stung for thousands of pounds. I had someone call me recently saying my Just Eat account had been hacked as someone had used it every night for a week, I had to explain I just couldn’t be bothered to cook. With so many people being caught out by scammers, could it give others ideas on how they could make some extra money…              FX:                          MEETING ROOM EFFECTS PERSON 1:              OK, as you know Rishi announced some very costly new measures in the budget and we’ve been tasked with coming up with new ways in which we can bring extra money into the Treasury. I hope that you’ve had time to work with your teams to really think outside the box. So,

 This is a sketch I submitted to S24 E3 of Newsjack. Apologies if some of the formatting is off, pasted it straight from the Word Doc for ease. Brits struggle to identify some veg Whilst most Britons know they should be eating more green vegetables, it was announced this week that millions of us don’t actually know which plant is which. A recent study saw one in 10 people surveyed fail to identify a cabbage and one in six couldn’t identify leeks. A lot of those surveyed obviously weren’t Welsh. Apart from the health implications, what consequences can there be from not knowing your artichoke from your endive…             VEGETABLE POLICE LINEUP   FX:                          POLICE STATION EFFECTS PC:                          Now take your time, have a good look and tell us if you think you can spot the perpetrator in this lineup? VICTIM:                  Oh, I’m not really sure it was quite dark. PC:                          I thought it was the middle of the day?